Halloween

Oops and I have done nothing for it.

I had better get my skates on and get my tarot reading done before the day as I have read that this is the best time to do it.

New piercing

Recently I have taken a real liking to the lip piercings at the side (those Japanese rockers have changed my mind about getting it done) So today I had my lip pierced. I was very pleased with myself with how well I managed it. In Scotland they are not able to give any anesthetic (I always had that in the past) but it did not hurt that much at all. In fact it was not that much more painful than previous times. The advantage of the way it was done today was that there was no waiting. He marked me up and pierced me strait away. I much preferred the lack of waiting.

Here is a picture of my new piercing:

I also priced up a halfsleeve tattoo. He said it could cost up to £220. That was less than what I thought it would be. Now I have to start saving and designing. I will also use any money that I get for birthdays and Christmases for it as well.

I am going to get more piercings as well. I think I will get my nipple re-pierced and get the other one done as well. It is £30 to get one done but £50 to get the two of them done.

I am also glad to get the Internet up and running. It was off last night and while it was not a problem there were times when it would have been lovely to have.

Bless my eldest though today. He swallowed a marble. We will be needing to keep a look our for that for when it has worked its way through his system.

I am glad that I will be seeing the teacher soon about him though. He is so negative though and it is very worrying to hear that. He calls himself stupid and an idiot. I have never called him that. I get really stuck when he says such negative things as I do not know what to say to make him feel better. He keeps saying that he can't do things, when I know that he can do it. He does not seem to believe me when I tell him that he can.

People say that having a baby is a challenge. Well dealing with a baby is a doddle compared to dealing with this.

Better day today

Thankfully today was much better than yesterday. Though I am still not happy with my partner. He is in a better mood with the wee ones but he has been off with me. He is getting stressed about the course, but he is doing nothing about it. He is just letting it build up and build up.

He is already overwhelmed about it and if he carries on like this he will not be able to get on top of it. I know the course has got a lot of things involved in it that he is not interested in but he still needs to learn about them.

Once again he has let himself get distracted by a stupid computer game and has got no work done. He needs to get ten assignments done. He is trapped in a really negative spiral and I am not sure what I can do to help him get out of it. Everything that I say gets met with negativity. It is very hard dealing with him at the moment.

Though something good did happen today. My new CD arrived. I really like it. I do not think it is as good as the other album but it is still good. Maybe it will take a little longer to get used to how it sounds.

Tired

I have been really tired today and it has really made me cranky at some points. I really need to sort that out. I was doing really well up to today. ah well I just have to keep doing my best.

Though i am not happy with my partner. when he got in I went into the bedroom to work on the clutter that has been put there. while I was through there I started to feel ill so I stayed. He was getting more and more stressed with the wee ones. I did not like how he dealt with them though. they were very upset. I know that they can play up but he dealt with them totally wrong.

Shopping

I went shopping today as I needed to sort something out. I must confess that I love the pound shop. There is such good stuff there.

Been busy today

I have been a very busy bunny today. I decided that I would not spend anytime on the computer and instead work on getting the flat cleaned.

I spent most of the time on the kitchen. It looks so much better now and the other time I spent washing clothes and cleaning the living room. Sadly though there is still lots to do but if i can do this more often then it will not be too long before the place is looking much better and staying much better. I just need to be a good girl and stop getting distracted by the computer.

Cleaning

I have started work on the kitchen today. I have made good progress. I just wish that I could keep it tidy though.

I think that one of the reasons why I am feeling such negative vibes from our home is from the fact that there is too much clutter. I need to get rid of it. I have cleaned the living room and the kitchen and it feels much nicer  now. I really need to start teaching the wee ones to tidy up after themselves. They are old enough to do so.

I made my mum mad at me today though (though to be honest that is not hard to do) I had already planned on getting second hand bunk beds after I got tired of mum saying that she would get some but not doing so. She mentioned about getting it for Christmas when she was last here, but I was not happy about that as I would prefer the wee ones to have something else for Christmas from them. I told her today that I was going to get them a set second hand and she was not happy with me at all. She said that with second hand beds the mattress will be soiled. She did not seem happy when I said that the bed that my eldest sleeps in was second hand and that the mattress was fine. I wish that I could refuse her offers without upsetting her.

My DVD's arrived from lovefilm today. One one them was disc one of Wild China. I watched it all tonight while my partner was out. It was so beautiful that I will have to buy it. It showed me just how little I know about china and the people that live there. I have learned so much tonight that I am so much looking forward to the next part arriving. I will have to buy the DVD soon along with Yellowstone. Stunning documentaries (exactly the type that I like to watch)

Another good thing that came from watching the documentary. I did not switch my computer on for a good part of the night (I did some cleaning while watching them as well) I am so glad that I did. It has been really good for me to get a night off the computer. I need to do this more often. I have been spending too much time on here at the expense of what I really need to do in life.

An odd day

Well it did not really start off that way but it has ended that way.

It started off pretty well and I was able to get some jobs done. Then when my partner went out the wee ones started being really cheeky and being really noisy (when they were not running away)

Then my eldest started to worry me when he started saying things like that he was stupid and an idiot. When I told him that he was not he did not seem to believe. He is always so negative about himself and I am really worried about that. He should not be so negative about himself. That is not going to be good for him at all. I really want to be able to teach him about positive thoughts but I am not sure about what to do. I try talking to him but that does not seem to work. I am going to have a word at school to see if there is anything that they can suggest (I have got a parents night coming up) and I will also go up to the health clinic to see if there is anyone there that can help.

I am also worried about my youngest with his anger. He totally has picked up on the anger problems that my partner and I have got. I have got much better recently and I not flared up anywhere near as much as I used to do but I still have to work on it. I do need to nip his anger in the bud while it is easier to do though.

By the time my partner came back it was late, I then got mixed up with the days and forgot about the photography club. This left me feeling a little odd.

When I got back I just spent the night browsing the Internet. Now I just feel bad like I have wasted the night. I just feel strange and listless. I want this feeling to go. I wish I could just take my wee ones and move somewhere else (I do not mean far but I just want out of this flat)

Feeling sick

I do not know what the matter with me this morning but it took me ages to wake up properly and I felt sick for a while.

Thankfully it was not long before I felt better but it was odd.

My partner took the wee ones to his mums house in the afternoon. It gave me chance to get some housework done as well as enjoying some time just to relax. I really do appreciate it when he takes them out.

I am worried about how my youngest son is behaving. He is getting really angry recently. We have to be really careful how we tell him off so that he understands what he did wrong without getting too mad. My partner says he has been acting odd as well. I will have to see about why he is acting like this and see what we can do to help him.

Returning dogs

I have found out recently that my daughter has taken some wee decorative dogs from the neighbors garden. I was not happy about it though. I had no idea she had done it and I had not seen her with anything.

Today though I saw where they had hidden them (In the play house in the garden) so I was able to get her to take them back around. They really need to learn hat it is not right to take something that does not belong to them. Thankfully the neighbor was not angry about them being taken but was just letting us know (I think he must have known that we would have returned them if we'd have known) but they will be happy to see them back.

My partner got some tattoo's done today. they look pretty good. I really would like to get more tattoo's. I think it will cost a bit to get what I want doing. I will have to start designing it though.

Lovely lie in

I got a lovely lie int today. though I went to bed very late to begin with so I did need it.

Even though I nearly fell asleep last night when reading to the wee ones my second wind kicked in and I went to sleep at around four.

My partner has not been in a good mood today. He has been swearing a lot and I do not like how he has been dealing with the wee ones. He has been spending too much time on the computer and that makes it difficult to deal with them (I know as it has happened to me as well)

He at least told me what was bothering him. He is worried about getting a tattoo when we are short of money. I told him that we have the cash to get it done and that he should just go for it. the main bill that we have to pay off is the credit card bill and we have been doing that.

I told him that if he gets his tattoo I should be able to treat myself to a new CD. I have discovered Japanese Rock recently and I really like it. They all look so darn good as well. I have managed to find a CD that is a resnoble price and it does not have to be imported from Japan. I am really looking forward to it arriving. My daughter will be able to listen to it as well. One of the songs on the CD I just can not listen to enough. It will be great to have the good quality video of it.

I wish the Vistlip album was not so expensive. I also wish that they would feel good enough to start their activities. I really hope my pendulum is right when it said that I would see an update from them in the next week.

Tired

Ooh I am looking forward to my lie in tomorrow. I really am tired today. Iwas even falling asleep when reading to the wee ones.

Oops, my bad

I sent my son off to school in his school uniform on a dress down day. He was not happy about it, but I did not know it was a non uniform day.

My partner had a big huff at me and woke me up when I should have been having a lie in (I was not happy about that)

He took him some clothes across though so at least he was able to get changed and at the end of the day when I collected him he was not mad at me for making the mistake.

Sadly though his school shoe is still missing. Hopefully it will be returned when they go back after the October holiday.

Managing the wee ones better

Ever since I said out loud that my bad temper should go away I have felt much better. I am still getting stressed from time to time though and there are times when the wee ones still drive me mad but I just feel that I am dealing with them so much better now that I am not losing my temper with them.

The twins kept escaping from the garden. However they played nicely with one of the boys who lives in our block of flats.

My eldest son is learning to ride his bike without stabilizers on. He is doing really well and it is lovely to see him making progress.

I am however really looking forward to having a lie in. I will still have to get up at ten but it will still be good to have a nice rest.

Really tired

And not feeling well at all. It is my fault for being tired, but I had bad belly cramps. Thankfully tomorrow will be better but at times I felt really bad.

I do need to get an earlier night tonight though.

It will be interesting though to see what happens in regard something I did last night as I was getting ready to go to sleep. I said ou8t loud that my bad temper should go away. I felt different as I had said it and today I have found that when dealing with the wee ones I have not felt the raging bad temper that I have been experiencing recently. I was a wee bit snippy but that is due to me being tired.

Even when I raised my voice at my eldest when I was on the phone to my friend I did not feel angry when I did it. I was just raising my voince.

We will see what happens in time but I would love it to be the end of my bad temper. I felt it was having a really bad affect on my wee ones.

Oops a late night

Oops I ended up going to bed at gone 2am.

I really must do more to stop going to bed so late. Tonight is midnight nearly and I said to myself that I would be in bed by then. Oops I have not done that. I need to make sure that I am in bed by 1 though.

Books arrived

I ordered some books recently and they arrived a day before i had expected them.

I am really looking forward to reading them and learning more about tarot spreads.

A challenging six months

Well that is according to my tarot reading that I did today. Though it did not surprise me as things have been challenging since the start of the summer holidays.

At least I am prepared now and I will do all that I can to get through as best as possible and see what I can do about overcoming those challenges that I will face.

I got up this morning with the wee ones. I will get a lie in tomorrow instead. I did get a lie down once he got up though.I did a tarot reading then for both myself and for the drummer of the band Vistlip. I thought it would be interesting to do a reading for him as he and the band have been through a tough time recently. Thankfully he cards were more positive than mine (though I do not doubt that I will get through this challenging time)

I am not happy though with the way how my partner is acting. the way how he was dealing with the wee ones was unacceptable. It is going to have a really bad affect on them if he carries on. It will also affect how they treat him and what they think of him. I know he is really stressed about how the college course is going and the fact that he is not doing a good job at keeping up with the homework (like tonight when he has got caught up playing the football, but at least he did something before he got distracted)

He cannot keep blaming the wee ones though for not getting the work done. He has to take some responsibility for not getting things done.

I am sure that he must be getting fed up with how he has been recently but I know that I have had enough. It has got to the point where I just do not like him being in the house.

Time off today

Yay my partner took the wee ones to his mums house today. that meant I got a few hours of peace.

Feeling better

Even though I have been feeling down a few times recently I am glad when I feel better.

When I was at the shop today I saw the new edition of spirit and destiny was out. It looks like it will be a good month for me and very appropriate.

Feeling down

I struck me today that I have been feeling down more than normal. That has been affecting how I have been dealing with the wee ones.

Though I must admit that my eldest is being really challenging at the moment. I really need to find a better way of dealing with him but I get wound up so easily by his rude way. He will be having a parents evening soon so I will hopefully get the chance to see what he is like at school. I think I will ask the teacher for tips on how to deal with him without getting so wound up.

Laptop fixed

I kept the twins off nursery as the man from Dell came around to get the laptop fixed. It was expensive but at least it is working again. I am so glad that it got fixed before Amy came around. At least we will be able to tell her about what happened and tell her that it has already been fixed.

I have also been working on weaning myself off the computer. I need to find a balance. Though I do need to spend some time on the computer sorting through my friends wedding photographs. I will start on that tomorrow.

Son not well

I had a bad night with my son last night. Bless him, he was coughing a lot and he needed his inhaler lots. I was really worried that he might have to go back into hospital but when I got up he was much better. He still does not sound great but at least he is much better.

I was so glad that I was able to get a lie in this morning as I was disturbed so many times last night. Thankfully so far he is so much better tonight. I am so relieved about that. He was so sweet though when I was asking him how he was. It varied from being a little bit fine to being fine as the day progressed.

Though my eldest son managed to get himself into a lot of trouble today. He managed to break my step daughters laptop. I had put it in the kitchen out of the way when he knocked it off the side when he climbed onto it to get something to eat. I was not happy at all when I heard it hit the floor. I knew strait away before I had even switched it on that the screen was screwed.

We are going to find out in the next few days what we can do to get it fixed. Then at least when I tell my step daughter that it is broken we can tell her what we will do about getting it fixed.

I have told my son that when he gets his first job he will be paying back the cost of the damages.

very cranky today

Even though I got a really nice lie in I have been really cranky with the wee ones.