The end of the year

Eek the end of 2010 is here. Time really does feel like it goes by so quickly.

Cleaning

I decided today that I would get some cleaning done. Last night I made good progress by doing a lot of work on our bedroom.

Today was the turn of the wee ones bedroom and the hall. Even though they were the tidiest of the rooms they still took a while before they were in a state that I was happy with.

Though I always seem to find a bag of clutter that needs to be sorted through. I was putting away my youngest sons present (the one that I ordered from America) and I discovered a bag of stuff that I really need to go through.

Sadly though it is looking like that the usual weekly garbage collections will not be happening. However I will put the stuff in black bags and get my partners dad to take them up to the tip.

I want that for my Christmas

Is what my daughter told me today when she saw something on the TV. She seems to have forgotten that she will be getting a birthday next. I thought it was funny how she said that. She certainly has started early.

Clean up

The clean up from yesterday has started. While I did a big clean up of the living room yesterday the clearing up of the wrapping and the wrapping paper started today. I have managed to nearly fill up the paper bucket already.

I did manage to get a good sleep last night but I am looking forward to my lie in tomorrow though as I was so tired yesterday that I think I need more than just one good sleep to catch up.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas. We have had a lovely and relaxing Christmas (just like the one two years ago) well it was not that bad last year but even though it was nice being at my mums house last year it is nicer to be at home (We also have the advantage of having hogmannay at home as well)

The wee ones got up at a good time (that was very much needed as I ended up going to bed at 3) however even though they got up at 8.30 I still did not get enough sleep. I am treating myself to a couple of glasses of mulled wine and going to bed early.

The wee ones have been good and once again I limited the amount of chocolate that they had so that they did not go mad.

We all got some nice presents. I got a funky new pendulum from my partner.

Christmas Eve

And all the joys of it are in full force. Having said that as I decided to go shopping locally I did not have to do battle with the other shoppers who go into panic mode because there is one day off (there are still some shops that will open tomorrow so it is not like people are really missing out)

Not setting well at night

I do not know what it up with my eldest son but he is not settling off well at night time. There has been plenty of times when getting him settled has been a challenge, but up till recently it has not been that bad. Tonight it was past ten when he settled. He gets himself so worked up at night when he is going to bed. I am not sure what to do about it.

Getting prepared

I have started getting ready for Christmas. Sorting through the presents, cleaning up.

Our new Christmas tree arrived today. I am so glad that it arrived in time for Christmas. I have put it up and even though it is 1.8 meters it does not look huge. It is slim so it does not look too bulky and it does not feel like it dominates the room. It fits really well in our living room. I am really happy with it. I did not think I would be happy with a tree that big but I am.

Happy Winter Solstice

And there was a lunar eclipse this morning as well. Sadly I missed a lot of it as I am not good at getting up, but I did manage to catch some of it and I did feel like I was a part of it. I should have made the effort to have got up to have seen more, but I did at least see it.

I put the pictures of the goddesses up that I drew last night and I gave a present to the wee ones.

I have now lit some candles and I will meditate to welcome in the new solar year.

I will get better at this as we do it more often but I am glad that I took part in the winter solstice this year. The wee ones also enjoyed it as well.

Bright blessing to all.

Still got computer problems

It took a while to get my computer last night. My partner thinks that my computer is having problems like his was recently. He took something off his computer and that fixed it.

I have not been good. I not only forgot to write out Christmas cards for the twins for the children at nursery but I also did not get over in time to see them get their present off Santa (oops) thankfully though I will see a picture of it in their PLP. They also did not seem upset with me when I turned up (I did arrive in time to hear them sing Merry Christmas)

It has been a cold day today though. My partner said that the wee ones were crying on the way to school. He said it was -10, but at least they were able to make it.

problems wityh my computer

Oh dear, my computer is not working well.

Enjoying Japanese learning

Recently the Japanese learning that I have been doing had become challenging. I did not really get on well with one of the units and while I was learning what it was teaching, I was not enjoying it. I decided to move onto the next lesson. This has gone much better and now I am picking up on what it is teaching. I really would like to become good at speaking Japanese. I need to find a way of getting in touch with a Japanese person who will want to help me learn Japanese as well (I think that would be better than the lessons that I have got)

I think I might see if I can find some advanced lessons online as well. I have also enjoyed learning written Japanese. I read that it is best to start of learning Hiragana first before learning Katakana. So that is what I am learning. It is not that difficult to write out the symbols. I just need to keep looking through them so that I can memorize them. This will make it easier for me to eventually recognize different words. I have now got a few things with Japanese text that I can practice on, though I know plenty of places online where I can also practice (Each member of Vistlip has a blog and their official page is in Japanese)

New tree

The Christmas lights arrived eventually for the tree today (the deliveries have been delayed due to the wild weather we had) but when I put them up I noticed that there were too many for the tree.

In the evening I decided I would just order a new tree. I had a look online and I saw one for just under £10. It looks good for the price, so I ordered it. Even though it is just under two meters tall it does not look that wide, so hopefully it will not take up too much room. It should hopefully get here in time for Christmas. Though even if it does not get here in time then I will still put it up anyway. If all I get is it up for a couple of days then that is still good enough.

I really, really...

need to make sure that I get an early night. I am so shattered from going to bed too late. Last night was better but I need to make sure that I am in bed by 12.

Feeling better but needing an early night

I was not feeling that great yesterday, I was feeling down for part of the day. I am not sure why though. Thankfully today I have felt much better. I have managed to meditate as well.

I have also got the form that I need to fill out for the twins when they start P1 next year. I will get that handed in tomorrow.

I even manged to meditate this morning. I had stopped doing it for a variety of reasons, but I feel much better for having done so this morning.

Cranky

Oops I have been very cranky with the wee ones in the morning. I was able to get a nap once my partner had got up though and that really helped me. I had fun with my youngest son in the afternoon. Well I actually had fun with them all at points.

They have also all been drawing today as well. My eldest has done some great drawings.

I do need to meditate though. I also need to get more pratise on my Japanese writing.

Shopping

I decided to go Christmas shopping today, but once again I ended up completely over laden with shopping bags (I will have shoulders like Arnie soon)

Warmer today

After the really cold weather it has warmed up very quickly. Today it was above freezing (though the wind chil made it feel like -3)

Taking the wee ones to school was so much easier. I also managed to get some time to myself in the morning as my step daughter and partner slept in late.

Another good thing happened was that some of the Christmas presents have arrived today (Including some books that I ordered for myself) Hopefully it will not be long before they all arrive.

Day off

After the fun of yesterday, and discovering that their wellies were wet inside this morning I decided to keep them off school (I also did not fancy going out in -15)

It is not so cold not and the wellies have been dried so things will be back to normal tomorrow (hopefully)

I took a screenshot of my desktop this morning to show the temperature of the desktop weather thingies that I have got.

Back home again

My youngest son is home again. My partner is a bit worried that they sent him home too early, so we will keep a watchful eye over him over the next few days. I am very glad that he is home though. He got a really funky toy for being brave at hospital (they woke him up lots during the night for various reasons)

It has been entertaining for me. I shared my bed with the two wee ones who remained here while my youngest son was in hospital (that is happening ever night for at least a month) I heard a text arrive at my phone but I ignored it, by the time I looked at the message it was eight o'clock. It was a message telling me that the schools were open. That meant that I had forty minutes to get them up, fed and dressed and out of the door.

My eldest turned into a teenager and refused to get out of bed while I was running around like a woman possessed getting everything ready. I eventually managed to get him up before the next battle of getting him off the computer started, after I had won that battle there was the battle to get him dressed before finally getting them out of the door.

I made good time and had them ready when I wanted. Unfortunately the next challenge was getting them to school in the snow. My daughter fell on the door step and my son fell a few steps later. I had a sense of doom when this happened, which was confirmed when they both fell at the gate and got snow in their wellies.

I emptied the wellies and we started again, only to get a few meters where they fell again and got more snow in the wellies. This was at the point when they both started crying (very loudly)

Thankfully after that the snow was getting better ground in, though when we got to the steps to the wood I found that there had been so much snow that I could not see the steps, so we had to slide down there and shuffle all the way through the wood (all the while dragging the wee ones at that point as they were getting louder and louder with their protests)

All through the wood and all along the road to the school they screamed. I did feel for them and I was very glad when they got to school as at least they were in the warmth (though I forgot to put in socks for my son so he had to spend all day with no socks on...oops) my daughter was better off as there was a change of clothes in her nursery bag.

Thankfully the trip to get my daughter from the end of nursery and at the end of the day for my son went so much better (I remembered to take a dry pair of socks for him) Lets home tomorrow morning is not as eventful as today as I will be taking all three of them...eek.

Hospital

My youngest son is in hospital.

What we thought was mumps turned out not to be mumps. My partner took him up to the doctors after we managed to get an appointment in the afternoon. The doctor though he could have an infection but advised us to take hi to hospital to get him checked out.

It was a bit of a challenge getting him to hospital as the public transport has been canceled due to the weather (My friends husband took twelve hours to get home) but thankfully one of my partners cousin was able to take them in. They did some tests and checked him over and they think that there could be a problem with his tonsils. They have said that he should stay in until the swelling has gone down. That means that he could be in hospital for the minimum of two days.

I think I will be the one spending tomorrow night in the hospital, so I had better get a bag ready so that I have something to do once he falls asleep at night.

Decorations

My wee ones have managed to put their mark on the decorations already. The decorations have not been up for a week but already the tree lights do not work, one of the decorations has been broken, the side looks a mess, the reindeer at the top of the tree has fell off and one of the eyes from the Santa on the wall has come off.

If I have told them once I have told them a million times to be careful around the decorations. So much that I really do sound like a stuck record. Ah well maybe4 one day they will listen to me...but then again I am their mother so maybe they won't.

Thankfully I had already ordered new lights so that is that problem solved. I have no idea how I will fix the broken decoration, but as for the rest I will clean that up tonight. It is though yet another job to add to my seemingly endless list of jobs to do.

Typically though that when the school is open again after the snow that my wee ones will have to stay off due to my youngest son being ill (bless he really was not happy today) I will find out tomorrow how long I will have to keep them off. We phoned the NHS helpline and they told us that there is nothing that can be done about the mumps. Strangely enough they did not say anything about taking him to the doctors. I think I will do anyway as I would like for it to be confirmed.

Cranky

I have been so cranky today at points (it also has not helped that my partner has been extremely cranky and swearing a lot)

It is my fault for going to bed far too late last night, and even though the wee ones got up at a decent time I did not get enough sleep. I need to get into a routine of getting to bed much earlier than what I am doing. Last night was different as I had put up the decorations, but there has been other times when it has not been that which has caused me to go to bed too late.

The wee ones loved the decorations though. Though the decorations will need to be fixed many times before they get put back I fear. They could not stop touching them. It does not help that the cobwebs that I put down tend to tangle everything up in them, so it is very easy to drag everything off.

This is what the decorations look like:

Getting irratable again

I have not been good with my meditation. As the wee ones have been off school I have not been doing it during the day and I have been forgetting to do it at night (when I have been going to bed too late meaning that I have not been getting a good sleep) Though today at the points when I could feel myself really getting irritable I started thinking about the music that I play when I meditate and that did help me calm down really well.

It also has not helped that my partner has been so cranky today. He did have a time when he was better but he has been so off today that it has also affected me. I do need to make sure that I get a good sleep tonight. I will also make sure that I meditate before I go to sleep. I will put the music CD in the DVD player in the bedroom when I go to bed.

I am going to start getting the Christmas decorations out tonight. I think it will be good to see them out. I will be putting out Halloween decorations as well as I did not bother at the right time. I think it could look really funky this year.

The week off

I have not experienced schools being closed for so long. It has not been too bad this week. It has actually been nice not having to rush out in the morning. I am not sure when our buckets will be emptied but I have put that out as that is what has been advised on the website.

I wonder what will happen next week though. They need to get the road up to the school clear as the main roads are getting much better.

On a different subject though, my keyboard has gone from bad to worse today. Not many keys on it work at all. I will take it apart and give it a good clean. I have had to change the keyboard and put my old one back on. I will not be happy if I cannot get my funky Japanese keyboard to work though.

I have started Christmas shopping online today. What with the challenging weather I thought it would be better to order stuff now and then it should hopefully arrive in plenty of time. Some of the stuff has to be sent away so I need to get the extra time for the extra postage.

Grumpy

My partner is still really grumpy to be around. He was off with me. I was a wee bit sarcastic with him and he was really grumpy back to me. I will be so glad when this stops.

I also do not know what is up with my keyboard. I type a t and I get an r with it and when I type an r I get a t with it. I have to keep correcting the spelling as I type.

I went to my friends house tonight for the first time in a while. It was good to see her, even if I did not stay for that long. Though I forgot the magazine that I was supposed to take up to her.

Off school again

The wee ones had another day off school today. My partner was off college as well. I am waiting to find out whether or not they will have tomorrow off as well.

If they are off school tomorrow I really do need to make the effort and get them out in it (it will be good for them) and as a bonus I will be able to get some shots of them. I would just take them out for a walk around the Den.

It was cute when I went out shopping. A wee Robin few into the shop. It was really cute. I am so glad that I take my camera with me everywhere as I was able to get a shot of it.

Snow glorious snow

We got lots of snow today. It was beautiful to see. There was so much that the school was closed today and later in the day the electric went off. I thought it would be off all night but thankfully it came back on at around nine.

I took loads of photographs in the morning. It really is lovely to see the snow.

Not going well at home

Thigs are not going well at home at all.

It feels like my partner and I have passed the point of no return and that we are only still together because we are still in the same house. I am tempted to ask him to move out but I just do not feel that this is the right moment. I am not sure why but I do feel like if things ended now then it would be a mistake.

However things cannot go on as they are. We are not begin very nice to each other and I especially do not like how he is treating the wee ones. There are times when I just do not like being around him and I know that he feels the same about me (especially given the way how he has acted toward me in the last few days)

I hope that things resolve themselves one way or another.

Another mouse

Oh dear, after finding the traps empty this morning I saw a mouse running around this evening. I have set up the trap. Hopefully it will catch the wee thing.

Mpouse caught

Yay I cought a mouse this morning.

Mice

Oh dear we have got mice again. I saw one tonight, so that confirmed it.

Thankfully I have got mousetraps. I have put some chocolate mouse in it until I can get something proper tomorrow. Hopefully they will catch something tonight though.

Tired

I did not sleep well at all last night for some reason. It also did not help that by the time I had finished cleaning it was getting really late.

Thankfully I was able to get up and get the wee ones ready for school without too much problems.

A lie in and a night off

I managed to get a lie in and as my partner is off to Glasgow to watch a band I have got the night off as well (I do like spending some time at night on my own)

No time off

Unfortunately I did not really get any time off today as my partner was not able to take the wee ones to his mums house.

I did go into our bedroom and work on sorting through some things, so that at least meant that I got some peace.

Very lucky

We have been very lucky today. A while ago we got some new furniture for the living room. Sadly the wee ones climbed all over it and it was not that long before it started to get tattered.

A few days ago my mother in law told me that my brother in law was working as a decorator at a home. they were throwing their old stuff out to make way for the new stuff. They were getting rid of a two and three seater couch as well as a sofa bed. We said we would take them all. We are very grateful that they offered to give them to my brother in law so that we were able to get them.

The two couches are lovely. They are a really nice shade of blue. I do not really like the pattern on the sofa bed but that does not really matter. The wee ones will be able to sleep in it. It is a really good sofa bed and tonight all three of them are sleeping in it. Though I am not sure if that would be good to keep as a permanent arrangement. But it will be good for my youngest son to be in a nice sofa bed instead of being in the travel cot.

Ooh my new CD and DVD

I ordered a new DVD and CD for my Christmas present. I thought I would order them now as I thought it would take its time from Japan.

Well it turned out to be a lot quicker than I thought. It arrived yesterday. Less than five days after I ordered it.

I could not resist listening to the album and watching the live DVD. Both were so funky.

Saturday 13th - Eek, mabe a squek

Eek when I was cleaning underneath the desks today I thought I found something that looked suspiciously like mouse poo. It was only in one place so it could have been something that had been dropped. I have ordered some humane mouse traps to check to make sure that it is not really mice (sadly the mousetrap that was behind the TV has broke). I will also check the one place that I think they can get in to see if it is still secure. I really hope that we have not got mice though.

I did check the broken trap at the back of the TV and the bait is still in there. There is a chance that the mouse was not interested in it as it is old food. Oh I really hope we have not got mice again.

lie in day

I must admit that I really do like it when I get a lie in on a school day. It is nice not to have to rush around in the morning and rush out. Today has also been the first day in a while that my partner has done all of the school runs. It has been nice for a change.

My eldest son has done well at school as well. He came home with a note saying how well he has done and he also had a sticker. It will be god for his confidence to do well.

He is still saying bad things about himself when he is at home. I think he is just saying it at home to get a reaction from us. I just reassure him that he is not what he says he is while at the same time trying not to play up too much. It is a hard balance.

Getting up in the morning

Was quite challenging for me this morning as it took me a while to get off to sleep and the sleep that I got was quite disturbed. Hopefully tonight I will get a better sleep.

I did speak to my friend today in India. It was great to speak to him and he was lovely to speak to. He said he will phone tomorrow. That will be great. The only problem that I had at times was that the signal went away at times so it was difficult to understand what he was saying. Hopefully he will be able to phone my landline instead as that might make the signal more stable. Though he told me that even his wife says that he talks too fast. I really hope that I am able to visit him in Mumbai. I have got some magazines so that I can enter the competitions again. It would be nice to win some money to cover the cost of the tickets.

My partner has been a bit of a pain recently though. While hew has been letting me take time on my own during the day when I have needed it he has been spending too much time playing the computer game Bloodbowl. I could tell that when I got back from the photography club that he had been playing while the wee ones had been in the bath due to the mess that had been made. I was not happy to find my eldest still up when I got in as well. I will be glad when he stops playing it as much.

recovering nicely

Thankfully my son has not been sick and is recovering nicely.

I also had a lovely lie in today. I really like it when that happens. Though I really do need to start going to bed at a better time.

Very Tired

I really struggled to get up this morning. I have decided that I will not get the pictures edited in time to give to my friend this Thursday. I have worn myself out too much last night. I need a good rest tonight. I think I will meditate, clean up a bit and then go to bed. The wee ones will not be going into school tomorrow.

The reason for this happened when I got a phone call from the school. Sadly my eldest son fell badly in the playground and got a cut near his eye. It was not looking that nice so I took him up to the doctors to get him checked out. Thankfully everything was good when he was seen and he was cleaned up and we were able to go home. He has had a sanistrip for the cut but thankfully he has shown no signs of concussion. I was advised to keep him off school tomorrow though to keep a look out on him.

My partner has been off college today as he has not been feeling that well. He will be off tomorrow as well. I do not think I have got what he has got but there are times when I really do seem to feel cold. I know the temperatures have dropped, but there are times when I feel it more than others. Maybe I have got a bit of a cold.

Tonight though I do feel good in myself. I think I still have some way to go before I get motivation levels up again to what I think would be good enough but I am starting to feel alive again. Maybe the meditation is having a good effect. I will keep it up as it certainly is not doing much harm. I am just glad not to be feeling so angry. I really hope that things stay like this for a while.

Monday 8th - Very busy

I have been so busy today. I got up with the wee ones so that my partner could get a lie in on his day off.

During the day was not that busy it was at night that I have been busy editing the pictures from my friends wedding. I really hope that I am able to get them done by Thursday.

Though I am very proud of myself. I really am going to have to keep up the meditation. I really do feel so much calmer today after meditating. Even when my eldest really played up at bedtime (and he really did play up) I just raised my voice when I was beginning to struggle but I did not strike out and I did not lose my temper.

He got himself into a terrible state though at the end. I managed to calm him down but I just wish that he would have listened to me in the first place. Hopefully tomorrow night will go better.

Bad temper

I am in a bad mood about my bad mood. It has got to stop.

I had a really long lie in. I got up at one. I do not like getting up that late though so that made me snippy with my partner (even though what he did was meant to help me) I soon calmed down after that but it was not long before I was being snippy with the wee ones. I just could not stop myself from being snippy.

I have been working on my bad mood for a while and nothing seems to work. Though it does not help that I live with someone who is just as hot tempered as I am. We tend to set each other off.

I am going to have a look online and see if there is anything that I can do that will help. I am also going to start meditating more as well as going to bed earlier. Hopefully if I get a better sleep more consistently then I will not only feel better when awake but when I get my lie in I will not sleep as long. I have to do something drastic though as I cannot go on as I have been recently.

In the evening though I did something positive on the start to becoming more serene. I did the Yoga DVD's that I got at the end of August. I feel good for having done it and I feel great after I meditated afterward. I think I might start meditating twice a day while I am feeling as bad as I am now. Hopefully that will help kick start my recovery.

Not much free time today

My partner was not able to take the wee ones to his mums house today, but he was able to take them out for a walk so that at least gave me some time to do my Japanese lesson and clean up.

I have been really busy cleaning today. I cleaned the living room, properly cleaned the wee ones room and the cleaned our bedroom.

I have also tried something else with my daughter in regard to her taking things from nursery. I told her today that I would E-Mail the Japanese band that she likes and tell them what she has been doing. She was not happy bout that and told me that she will not take anything that is not her anymore. I really hope that it works.

Feeling fed up

Today I have not felt good. Even though I got a lie in.

I am not happy with how the wee ones have been acting. My youngest son has not been too bad but he is quick to get into a bad temper.

My daughter has been taking things that are not hers but she is getting very sneaky about it and she has been acting deviously enough that the nursery think it has become a problem and they want to stop it before she starts school next year. Hopefully we will be able to do that. I have started saying lots of times about taking things not being good. I will keep saying it as soon as a good opportunity presents itself until it eventually sinks in.

My eldest son it being very cheeky to me, well I say cheeky it isn't. It is just rude.

My partner has been driving me mad with how he has been acting as well. He spends far too much time during the day on his computer games when he should be doing something else. I also do not like how he handles the wee ones when it comes to telling them off.

It all got too much for me so I had to spend some time alone in the bedroom.

I just wish I could bundle everyone in a car and just move somewhere else. Though I know you cannot escape your troubles like that. I have to deal with them here before I move. I will miss the school though as it is a really good school. Hopefully when we eventually move we will find an equally good school where we go.

Got shoes back

My eldest was still complaining about feeling ill this morning, bless him. I sent him to school anyway, but told the school to keep an eye on him.

Thankfully by the e4nd of the school day he seemed to be feeling much better. Hopefully the worst of the pains are over for him.

I had a really funky offer in the evening though. I have been posting photographs on Flickr again recently and I have been commenting on one of my Flickr friends pictures as well. He made a comment about listening to the Japanese rock and I said that I would send him some. He also said that if I ever get the chance to go to India then I would be welcome to stay with him and his family. I think that is such a wonderful offer. I really hope that I get the opportunity to take him up on it.

Halloween

Oops and I have done nothing for it.

I had better get my skates on and get my tarot reading done before the day as I have read that this is the best time to do it.

New piercing

Recently I have taken a real liking to the lip piercings at the side (those Japanese rockers have changed my mind about getting it done) So today I had my lip pierced. I was very pleased with myself with how well I managed it. In Scotland they are not able to give any anesthetic (I always had that in the past) but it did not hurt that much at all. In fact it was not that much more painful than previous times. The advantage of the way it was done today was that there was no waiting. He marked me up and pierced me strait away. I much preferred the lack of waiting.

Here is a picture of my new piercing:

I also priced up a halfsleeve tattoo. He said it could cost up to £220. That was less than what I thought it would be. Now I have to start saving and designing. I will also use any money that I get for birthdays and Christmases for it as well.

I am going to get more piercings as well. I think I will get my nipple re-pierced and get the other one done as well. It is £30 to get one done but £50 to get the two of them done.

I am also glad to get the Internet up and running. It was off last night and while it was not a problem there were times when it would have been lovely to have.

Bless my eldest though today. He swallowed a marble. We will be needing to keep a look our for that for when it has worked its way through his system.

I am glad that I will be seeing the teacher soon about him though. He is so negative though and it is very worrying to hear that. He calls himself stupid and an idiot. I have never called him that. I get really stuck when he says such negative things as I do not know what to say to make him feel better. He keeps saying that he can't do things, when I know that he can do it. He does not seem to believe me when I tell him that he can.

People say that having a baby is a challenge. Well dealing with a baby is a doddle compared to dealing with this.

Better day today

Thankfully today was much better than yesterday. Though I am still not happy with my partner. He is in a better mood with the wee ones but he has been off with me. He is getting stressed about the course, but he is doing nothing about it. He is just letting it build up and build up.

He is already overwhelmed about it and if he carries on like this he will not be able to get on top of it. I know the course has got a lot of things involved in it that he is not interested in but he still needs to learn about them.

Once again he has let himself get distracted by a stupid computer game and has got no work done. He needs to get ten assignments done. He is trapped in a really negative spiral and I am not sure what I can do to help him get out of it. Everything that I say gets met with negativity. It is very hard dealing with him at the moment.

Though something good did happen today. My new CD arrived. I really like it. I do not think it is as good as the other album but it is still good. Maybe it will take a little longer to get used to how it sounds.

Tired

I have been really tired today and it has really made me cranky at some points. I really need to sort that out. I was doing really well up to today. ah well I just have to keep doing my best.

Though i am not happy with my partner. when he got in I went into the bedroom to work on the clutter that has been put there. while I was through there I started to feel ill so I stayed. He was getting more and more stressed with the wee ones. I did not like how he dealt with them though. they were very upset. I know that they can play up but he dealt with them totally wrong.

Shopping

I went shopping today as I needed to sort something out. I must confess that I love the pound shop. There is such good stuff there.

Been busy today

I have been a very busy bunny today. I decided that I would not spend anytime on the computer and instead work on getting the flat cleaned.

I spent most of the time on the kitchen. It looks so much better now and the other time I spent washing clothes and cleaning the living room. Sadly though there is still lots to do but if i can do this more often then it will not be too long before the place is looking much better and staying much better. I just need to be a good girl and stop getting distracted by the computer.

Cleaning

I have started work on the kitchen today. I have made good progress. I just wish that I could keep it tidy though.

I think that one of the reasons why I am feeling such negative vibes from our home is from the fact that there is too much clutter. I need to get rid of it. I have cleaned the living room and the kitchen and it feels much nicer  now. I really need to start teaching the wee ones to tidy up after themselves. They are old enough to do so.

I made my mum mad at me today though (though to be honest that is not hard to do) I had already planned on getting second hand bunk beds after I got tired of mum saying that she would get some but not doing so. She mentioned about getting it for Christmas when she was last here, but I was not happy about that as I would prefer the wee ones to have something else for Christmas from them. I told her today that I was going to get them a set second hand and she was not happy with me at all. She said that with second hand beds the mattress will be soiled. She did not seem happy when I said that the bed that my eldest sleeps in was second hand and that the mattress was fine. I wish that I could refuse her offers without upsetting her.

My DVD's arrived from lovefilm today. One one them was disc one of Wild China. I watched it all tonight while my partner was out. It was so beautiful that I will have to buy it. It showed me just how little I know about china and the people that live there. I have learned so much tonight that I am so much looking forward to the next part arriving. I will have to buy the DVD soon along with Yellowstone. Stunning documentaries (exactly the type that I like to watch)

Another good thing that came from watching the documentary. I did not switch my computer on for a good part of the night (I did some cleaning while watching them as well) I am so glad that I did. It has been really good for me to get a night off the computer. I need to do this more often. I have been spending too much time on here at the expense of what I really need to do in life.

An odd day

Well it did not really start off that way but it has ended that way.

It started off pretty well and I was able to get some jobs done. Then when my partner went out the wee ones started being really cheeky and being really noisy (when they were not running away)

Then my eldest started to worry me when he started saying things like that he was stupid and an idiot. When I told him that he was not he did not seem to believe. He is always so negative about himself and I am really worried about that. He should not be so negative about himself. That is not going to be good for him at all. I really want to be able to teach him about positive thoughts but I am not sure about what to do. I try talking to him but that does not seem to work. I am going to have a word at school to see if there is anything that they can suggest (I have got a parents night coming up) and I will also go up to the health clinic to see if there is anyone there that can help.

I am also worried about my youngest with his anger. He totally has picked up on the anger problems that my partner and I have got. I have got much better recently and I not flared up anywhere near as much as I used to do but I still have to work on it. I do need to nip his anger in the bud while it is easier to do though.

By the time my partner came back it was late, I then got mixed up with the days and forgot about the photography club. This left me feeling a little odd.

When I got back I just spent the night browsing the Internet. Now I just feel bad like I have wasted the night. I just feel strange and listless. I want this feeling to go. I wish I could just take my wee ones and move somewhere else (I do not mean far but I just want out of this flat)

Feeling sick

I do not know what the matter with me this morning but it took me ages to wake up properly and I felt sick for a while.

Thankfully it was not long before I felt better but it was odd.

My partner took the wee ones to his mums house in the afternoon. It gave me chance to get some housework done as well as enjoying some time just to relax. I really do appreciate it when he takes them out.

I am worried about how my youngest son is behaving. He is getting really angry recently. We have to be really careful how we tell him off so that he understands what he did wrong without getting too mad. My partner says he has been acting odd as well. I will have to see about why he is acting like this and see what we can do to help him.

Returning dogs

I have found out recently that my daughter has taken some wee decorative dogs from the neighbors garden. I was not happy about it though. I had no idea she had done it and I had not seen her with anything.

Today though I saw where they had hidden them (In the play house in the garden) so I was able to get her to take them back around. They really need to learn hat it is not right to take something that does not belong to them. Thankfully the neighbor was not angry about them being taken but was just letting us know (I think he must have known that we would have returned them if we'd have known) but they will be happy to see them back.

My partner got some tattoo's done today. they look pretty good. I really would like to get more tattoo's. I think it will cost a bit to get what I want doing. I will have to start designing it though.

Lovely lie in

I got a lovely lie int today. though I went to bed very late to begin with so I did need it.

Even though I nearly fell asleep last night when reading to the wee ones my second wind kicked in and I went to sleep at around four.

My partner has not been in a good mood today. He has been swearing a lot and I do not like how he has been dealing with the wee ones. He has been spending too much time on the computer and that makes it difficult to deal with them (I know as it has happened to me as well)

He at least told me what was bothering him. He is worried about getting a tattoo when we are short of money. I told him that we have the cash to get it done and that he should just go for it. the main bill that we have to pay off is the credit card bill and we have been doing that.

I told him that if he gets his tattoo I should be able to treat myself to a new CD. I have discovered Japanese Rock recently and I really like it. They all look so darn good as well. I have managed to find a CD that is a resnoble price and it does not have to be imported from Japan. I am really looking forward to it arriving. My daughter will be able to listen to it as well. One of the songs on the CD I just can not listen to enough. It will be great to have the good quality video of it.

I wish the Vistlip album was not so expensive. I also wish that they would feel good enough to start their activities. I really hope my pendulum is right when it said that I would see an update from them in the next week.

Tired

Ooh I am looking forward to my lie in tomorrow. I really am tired today. Iwas even falling asleep when reading to the wee ones.

Oops, my bad

I sent my son off to school in his school uniform on a dress down day. He was not happy about it, but I did not know it was a non uniform day.

My partner had a big huff at me and woke me up when I should have been having a lie in (I was not happy about that)

He took him some clothes across though so at least he was able to get changed and at the end of the day when I collected him he was not mad at me for making the mistake.

Sadly though his school shoe is still missing. Hopefully it will be returned when they go back after the October holiday.

Managing the wee ones better

Ever since I said out loud that my bad temper should go away I have felt much better. I am still getting stressed from time to time though and there are times when the wee ones still drive me mad but I just feel that I am dealing with them so much better now that I am not losing my temper with them.

The twins kept escaping from the garden. However they played nicely with one of the boys who lives in our block of flats.

My eldest son is learning to ride his bike without stabilizers on. He is doing really well and it is lovely to see him making progress.

I am however really looking forward to having a lie in. I will still have to get up at ten but it will still be good to have a nice rest.

Really tired

And not feeling well at all. It is my fault for being tired, but I had bad belly cramps. Thankfully tomorrow will be better but at times I felt really bad.

I do need to get an earlier night tonight though.

It will be interesting though to see what happens in regard something I did last night as I was getting ready to go to sleep. I said ou8t loud that my bad temper should go away. I felt different as I had said it and today I have found that when dealing with the wee ones I have not felt the raging bad temper that I have been experiencing recently. I was a wee bit snippy but that is due to me being tired.

Even when I raised my voice at my eldest when I was on the phone to my friend I did not feel angry when I did it. I was just raising my voince.

We will see what happens in time but I would love it to be the end of my bad temper. I felt it was having a really bad affect on my wee ones.

Oops a late night

Oops I ended up going to bed at gone 2am.

I really must do more to stop going to bed so late. Tonight is midnight nearly and I said to myself that I would be in bed by then. Oops I have not done that. I need to make sure that I am in bed by 1 though.

Books arrived

I ordered some books recently and they arrived a day before i had expected them.

I am really looking forward to reading them and learning more about tarot spreads.

A challenging six months

Well that is according to my tarot reading that I did today. Though it did not surprise me as things have been challenging since the start of the summer holidays.

At least I am prepared now and I will do all that I can to get through as best as possible and see what I can do about overcoming those challenges that I will face.

I got up this morning with the wee ones. I will get a lie in tomorrow instead. I did get a lie down once he got up though.I did a tarot reading then for both myself and for the drummer of the band Vistlip. I thought it would be interesting to do a reading for him as he and the band have been through a tough time recently. Thankfully he cards were more positive than mine (though I do not doubt that I will get through this challenging time)

I am not happy though with the way how my partner is acting. the way how he was dealing with the wee ones was unacceptable. It is going to have a really bad affect on them if he carries on. It will also affect how they treat him and what they think of him. I know he is really stressed about how the college course is going and the fact that he is not doing a good job at keeping up with the homework (like tonight when he has got caught up playing the football, but at least he did something before he got distracted)

He cannot keep blaming the wee ones though for not getting the work done. He has to take some responsibility for not getting things done.

I am sure that he must be getting fed up with how he has been recently but I know that I have had enough. It has got to the point where I just do not like him being in the house.

Time off today

Yay my partner took the wee ones to his mums house today. that meant I got a few hours of peace.

Feeling better

Even though I have been feeling down a few times recently I am glad when I feel better.

When I was at the shop today I saw the new edition of spirit and destiny was out. It looks like it will be a good month for me and very appropriate.

Feeling down

I struck me today that I have been feeling down more than normal. That has been affecting how I have been dealing with the wee ones.

Though I must admit that my eldest is being really challenging at the moment. I really need to find a better way of dealing with him but I get wound up so easily by his rude way. He will be having a parents evening soon so I will hopefully get the chance to see what he is like at school. I think I will ask the teacher for tips on how to deal with him without getting so wound up.

Laptop fixed

I kept the twins off nursery as the man from Dell came around to get the laptop fixed. It was expensive but at least it is working again. I am so glad that it got fixed before Amy came around. At least we will be able to tell her about what happened and tell her that it has already been fixed.

I have also been working on weaning myself off the computer. I need to find a balance. Though I do need to spend some time on the computer sorting through my friends wedding photographs. I will start on that tomorrow.

Son not well

I had a bad night with my son last night. Bless him, he was coughing a lot and he needed his inhaler lots. I was really worried that he might have to go back into hospital but when I got up he was much better. He still does not sound great but at least he is much better.

I was so glad that I was able to get a lie in this morning as I was disturbed so many times last night. Thankfully so far he is so much better tonight. I am so relieved about that. He was so sweet though when I was asking him how he was. It varied from being a little bit fine to being fine as the day progressed.

Though my eldest son managed to get himself into a lot of trouble today. He managed to break my step daughters laptop. I had put it in the kitchen out of the way when he knocked it off the side when he climbed onto it to get something to eat. I was not happy at all when I heard it hit the floor. I knew strait away before I had even switched it on that the screen was screwed.

We are going to find out in the next few days what we can do to get it fixed. Then at least when I tell my step daughter that it is broken we can tell her what we will do about getting it fixed.

I have told my son that when he gets his first job he will be paying back the cost of the damages.

very cranky today

Even though I got a really nice lie in I have been really cranky with the wee ones.

Tired with a broken phone

I have been going to bed too late this week and today it really caught up with me. I was so tired and cranky with the wee ones. My computer has crashed again, but thankfully we were able to get it working again in safe mode but the bad one is that my phone is broken.

It fell out of my back pocket into the toilet. I found a second hand one for £30 so I have ordered that. I need to make sure that the camera does not get scratched this time. Hopefully this one will last just as well as the other one. If I had have been careful though the other one would still be working. I am sad that it is not working though.

I am feeling better now though. When my partner got home I had a nap. I still need to make sure that I do not go to bed too late though. I have a lot of stuff that I would like to do tomorrow so I do not want to get up too late.

Too much time on the computer

Oops I spent far too much time on the computer today. Sadly I did not do any of the things that I needed to do either. I just spent it playing games on Facebook. I know that I am getting a lot of enjoyment from them but I need to sort through my flat and I need to get rid of the clutter.

Though speaking of the game. One of the games that I play is called Farmville. I was not fussed about it to begin with and I only started it so that I could become a neighbor to one of my friends. But now I have stated playing it I really enjoy it.

Today in the game I upgraded my Spa. I am really pleased with it. It looks so funky. If only things were that easy in real life though.

This is what it looked like before:

This is what it looks like now:

Getting to bed late

Oops I have started getting to bed late again.

Last night was another late one. By the time that I had done my Japanese lesson and then watched my daily episode of Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's it was late and then by the time that I had cleaned up and got into bed it was around two in the morning.

Thankfully I was able to get a lie in but once they are back at school next week I will not have that luxury. I need to make sure that I do not get into the late nights too much. I need to start making sure that I am in bed for twelve. Though at least once they are back at school I will be able to do my Japanese lesson in the morning.

I will admit that I am really proud of myself for keeping doing the lessons while they are off school. When I was learning French I stopped doing the lessons while they were off school and that really did not help when it came to the summer holidays (that was the time when I stopped doing them) Hopefully I will be able to keep at the lessons. It would really be great to become really good at speaking Japanese. Even better will be the day when I can read Japanese writing as well.

Getting better

My daughter is much better today. She has not been getting any bother at night and thankfully she does not seem to be getting any worse. The same is for my youngest son as well.

My eldest does not seem to be affected at all.

Hopefully that is how it will stay until they are totally better. I will still keep them off school though.

Cleaning up

I made the most of the time in the morning when my partner was having a lie in. I find that if I let the wee ones go on the computer then it gives me a good chance to get some housework done in peace.

I managed to make good progress and I cleaned out one of the cupboards. It was not looking good at all. It is of course looking lovely and clean now.

I did find something when I was cleaning the living room later (my partner took the wee ones out for a walk) when I said that I was not ready for lesson six with the Japanese, I discovered that I was wrong and that I am in fact ready for lesson six. I did both lesson five and six today. While I did struggle with lesson six, I found that I did pretty well considering that it was only the second time that I have listened to it.

Not too bad

Considering that the wee ones have got chicken pox that it.

My daughter seems to be managing fine with it and my youngest has only got a few spots. My eldest seems to not be affected at all by it but that could be because his spots have not appeared yet. that reminds me, I must get him to do his homework soon. I also need to cover his homework books.

The boys have been acting up. they have bounced off each other which has ended up getting them both in trouble. I really was snippy with them as they were really annoying me. I do need to be able to find a better way of dealing with them other than losing my temper. The only thing that will come out of that is that I will teach them what I was taught when I was a child (my parents were hot tempered like how I am)

I can see some of my traits in my boys and that is a sign that I have to stop as soon as possible so that they can learn to act differently to how I do. I am not sure how I am going to do it but I must find a way.

My Japanese learning is going well though. I am on lesson five and I had a listen to lesson six today. I had a lot of cleaning to do in the living room so that was why I listened to it. I do not think I am ready to move onto it yet but I am just glad to be making progress.

Thursday 23rd - My poor wee girl

Awe bless her, she is not very well at all.

My mother brought some calamine lotion over though in the morning. Hopefully that will help her. Bless her but she did have a disturbed sleep.

I phoned up the school to let them know that none of the wee ones will be going in. I was told by them that it would be better if we stayed off next week as well.

Chicken pox

Eek the twins have got it, bless them.

We have done well to avoid it so far, but it has eventually caught up with us.

Decorating

My mum and dad are up in the area to help us decorate some of the rooms in the flat.

today they painted the hall and the wee ones room. It looks so much better now :)

Getting prepared

I have started to get prepared for my mum and dad arriving on Monday to start the decorating. Once again I have left things until last minute. I am sure I will manage though.

My partner was not able to take the wee ones to his mums but he did take them out for a long walk. I was able to get some cleaning done and my Japanese lesson done.

Calming myself down

Yesterday gave me a good reason to make sure that I deal with my short temper. I really snapped at the wee ones. I was not happy with myself. I managed to make it up to them but I do not want to be like that.

I am sure that my lack of sleep has made me worse.

Early to bed

And early to bed, makes a person healthy, weathy and wise.

I think i should be following that rather than following the late to bed, early to rise, which of course makes me rough feeling, cranky and tired.

Ooh I really do feel tired today. I really, really must get to bed early tonight. I have got into a rut though and when it is night time it does not take long before it is a silly time and then I have still got jobs to do before I crash.

I think it would help if I set myself a time limit when I have to be off the computer.

Ow,ow,ow

That is what it is like now that I have repierced my ears.

I ordered some piercing studs as there were a few holes in my ears without rings in them. I have found them expensive to buy but I saw 12 pairs in E-Bay for £8. They arrived today. I needed eight studs to fill the holes and seven of them had to be repierced. I know that my ears will be feeling better in the next few days but for now they feel sore. It actually was not that bad repiercing them, it was after that it was the worst.

Sleeping tonight will be interesting as I normally sleep on my side. This will not be possible as it will be too sore to do so. It will be worth it though.

Going shopping

Even though it was raining my partner needed some things so I went shopping. Thankfully it was not too bad.

I was able to get a winter coat for my eldest son. Even though it is not his age group it fits pretty well. I am hoping that I will be able tog et a couple of years out of it.

I also treated myself to some things. I was able to get some rings for my piercings. They only cost £1 each. One went in my bellybutton and the other went in my ear. They are normally expensive to buy, so I think I will get some more when I go shopping on Friday. They look pretty funky and it will be nice to eventually have all of my piercings filled again.

I would love to have another tattoo at some point. I would like to have something added to the original tatoo that I got in 95. I will need to have that one touched up as well so it does not look odd. I am going to start looking for designs that could go with it. I would like something black. I think some patterns. I will see what Japanese artwork there is.

My partner is also planning on getting another tattoo. I think it will be a while before we can afford to get it done though.

Better day today

Thankfully today has been a much better day than yesterday. I am really tired though, so I am looking forward to getting my lie in tomorrow.

I spent a bit of time in the bedroom today as my partner did not take the wee ones to him mums house. I thought it would be a good alternative. He is hoping to take them across tomorrow though.

Though our water has been cut off today. They were doing some work upstairs so I think it is related to that. If it is not back on tomorrow then we will have to phone up the water company and see what they say. I got some bottles of water from the shop so at least we have got a good supply. I do need the water back on soon as I really need to get some washing done (keeping on top of the school uniform is a challenge, it will be more so next year when the twins start)

Crankyness all round

Well the day was going pretty well until I got home for lunch. I went to visit my friend this morning. It was nice to get around. I did not get the opportunity to go around during the holidays and this has been the first chance since the school opened.

My firend told me about the Tai-kwan-do lessons that they are giving locally. I would love to take the younglings to that. I think it would be really good for them.

Things just got bad when I got home. My partner was once again in a grumpy mood and once again was taking it out on me. I have just had about enough of it.

He went out for a short while to get something worted out but it all seemed to get worse when he got back. I collected my eldest and went to the shops.

I do know know what he had been doing while I was out but the wee ones really seemed to have been messing around.

Though he did wash the dishes, make the dinner and do some cleaning, so it is not all bad. Though it not enough to make up for his bad mood. It is not nice living with him. I am also worried about the negative effect it will have on the wee ones.

Thankfully he is out for the night tonight.

Though I know that I do need to spend less time on the computer and keep an eye on them better. The boys did something gross today. They both went to the toilet in the neighbors garden (our fence is broke so they have easy access. I am not happy about it at all, but once again my partner totally over reacted. I have had enough.

Tired and Eurotrash

It is my fault for not getting enough sleep. I am getting to ed a bit earlier but still not early enough.

The twins have been pests at the moment. When they play in the garden they just will not stay in the garden. They hve today managed to run across to the park and then play in someone else's garden. Even my eldest has never been that bad. Will will have to do something about it to make sure that it does not happen again.

I entered my first photography competition recently. Sadly my pictures did not do that well. I am happy with them but I think that it did not help that the judge specialized in taking pictures of fungi. He told me that the depth of field was too shallow, but that is how I like to take the pictures. Ahh well hopefully I will have better luck next time.

When I got home though I remembered something that I was talking to my friend about. I had a quick look on the Internet and found that the first season of Eurotrash is available to watch for free. It was great fun to see it. I loved to watch it when it was first on the TV. Though it has meant that I am not going to bed too late again.

Being cranky

Ooh I was really cranky with the wee ones this morning. I really should learn how to handle being stressed better.

It started when I could not find something in the morning and then my youngest son did not put on his bag like I had asked him to. I had to run home and fetch it. I told them to go on ahead while I got it. I was catching them up when they disappeared. They had decided to go for a wander off in the wrong direction at the top of the steps. That made us late. I was not happy with them. I do not like getting that mad with them.

I also do not like it when they do not listen to me.

Tired and cranky

It is totally my fault. I really must make sure that I do not get caught up in watching fun videos on You Tube and get to bed at a decent time.

I have been snippy with all of them today and that is not good at all.

The day did not start off well though. We had to walk to school in the rain. Bless the wee ones, they were soaked by the time that we got there. I will be better prepared tomorrow and put them in their wellies strait away instead of waiting until their shoes are wet.

My eldest came home today with his new learning book. I like reading it to see how he is getting on. It looks like he is settling into P2 really well and is doing well.

Getting organized

I really need to get myself sorted out. I just keep getting distracted.

Crankyness all round

I have been affected by my partners crankyness. I have been cranky, he has been cranky and the wee ones have also been cranky (though it did not help that I have been short with them, so maybe I am to blame for them)

Getting organized

I managed to get some work done today. I am very pleased with myself as I have not been very good recently. I have been trying to motivate myself for a while but it has not been working. I know it has not helped that I ave been ill, but it is still good to get the motivation back.

Cranky partner

Well I think that would be an understatement.

It started off first thing when I asked him to do the school run today instead of tomorrow. He was also late leaving the flat (his own fault for going on the computer)

Throughout the day he has been grumpy but it hit a peak in the late afternoon when his computer started acting up. I was telling him off for getting my step daughter to dress our daughter when she should have been eating her dinner (she was out when we were eating ours) that resulted in him throwing his phone agains the wall and breaking it.

I know that he is getting anxious about going back to college but he is not nice to live with when he is like this. It is times like this that I wish we had separate bedrooms. Well actually I think that would be good all of the time to be honest. I think sharing a bedroom is vastly overrated.

I am looking forward to him getting back to college and settled in. Though this year is going to be a tough one for him so who knows when he will get settled in.

My eldest son though at night is getting better. He has started waking up to take himself to the toilet. Bless him though he is not waking before he has a slight accident but he is getting much better and I think it will not be long before he wakes before he wets his trousers (there is not much at the moment but just a little wet patch) But it is great to see him making progress.

Some people

Tonight when my partner was checking his E-Mail discovered that someone had used one of his online accounts to order about £90 of songs from I-Tunes.

As soon as he said it I phoned my bank (damm I have hearing those darn automated services) but I reported my card as stolen (technically it had been) and the card was canceled. That at least means that no more money will be coming off that card (the one that was on the site that had the problem)

Though that means that I will have to wait for up to five days for my new card to arrive. I am not moaning though as I am just glad that noone else can use my card.

The site does not seem very good so I am going to get my partner to close his account down. I know that nothing is totally secure but it is better to stick to something that is known to be secure.

Early nights

I really am going to have to learn to go to be a bit earlier. The only advantage of going to bed later is that I have been able to deal with any problems that the wee ones might have when they wake in the middle of the night. However I am not getting a good sleep at the moment and that needs to change. Though it does not help that I have for a long time been in a night own habit and that changing this will take a bit of time.

I will never be a in bed by ten type person but if I can get in bed by twelve and then lights out at twelve thirty then that would be great.

My eldest got another sticker from school today. He told me that he did well with his reading. I am so glad that he likes reading. I love reading books and I am happy that he does too. He also told me that he got two more stickers for his chart. I am so happy that he is doing well so far. I hope that he keeps up the good work.

Tired

My fault though. I stayed up too late last night so I did not get enough sleep when I got up with the wee ones this morning. I need to do a better job tonight as I have been tired for a lot of the day.

I do need to work on how to deal with my temper when it gets on a short fuse. I do not think there will be a lot that I can do about stopping getting short tempered but dealing with it once it is here is the most important.

Lazy day

I had a lovely lie in today. I always like it when I get a lie in. I did not think it would happen though. Because of my step daughter sleeping over my partner and I sleep in the living room. To get a lie in I then sleep in my eldest sons bed for the lie in.

When I first went through I was disturbed a few times by my boys for various reasons. I was getting worried that I would not be able to get back to sleep. Thankfully I was though.

The day went well and the wee ones were really happy with the Yu-Gi-Oh cards that I gave them. I will never use the cards and they have really liked the cards that we have given them. They have done a pretty good job of looking after them. Though the card covers that we have put them in has really helped them.

I am making progress with the Japanese learning as well. I am getting more confident with the second lesson. I think I will listen to it once more before I move onto the next lesson.

My partner was listening to the theme tunes from Yu-Gi-Oh. I originally thought that they made the songs for the program, but it seems that they use songs that bands have created. There are a couple of the bands that I think I will buy some of their songs. I am not sure where I will get them from but I will see what I can find.

Full house tonight

We will be sleeping seven in a two bedroom flat tonight. My we ones are here as they normally are but my step daughter and her friend are also staying over.

Thankfully we are all able to fit in pretty well and it does not feel over crowded.

I have been in a really bad mood today. Thankfully I kept myself out of the way for a lot of the time, as I was cleaning the bedroom. I did take it out on the wee ones at some points but I was quick to apoologize. I really should not take my bad mood out on them.

Getting sorted

I managed to get the forms off today to apply for my eldest sons school dinners. That means that I will not have to pay for them from next week. I had forgotten to do this over the school holidays but thankfully while it was late this year it still was earlier than what I had done it last year.

Hopefully next year I will be even better.

Feeling much better

Thankfully the tablets did start working yesterday and today I feel so much better.

My head is not hurting much at all now. I am so relieved about that as it really was hurting. My partner will still do the school run tomorrow and I will take over as normal next week.

Though I am not happy that when he collects my eldest that he does not check to see if he has got all of his stuff. He has only been back a week and already he has lost three water bottles. I will not bother sending him with one tomorrow and leave it until Monday when I will be on the school run as normal.

I will be on the second Japanese lesson tonight. It is nice to be making some progress.

Shingles

Well that is what the doctor thinks it could be. She said that it could also be Folliculitis. So I have got treatment for the both of them.

Strangely enough though the doctor did not tell me that Shingles is contagious. I have asked my partner to do the school runs for the rest of the week (The wee ones have settled back to school and nursery really nicely) I am sure that I will be fine to do it next week. I will keep going to the shops though but I will have to make sure that I do not get too close to people. The mark on my face has dried up.


Though the pain is still there and my head feels like it is throbbing all of the time.

Though on a lighter note my mind has started drifting to a project that I would love to do. I have been watching Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's and in that there is the D-Wheel. I would love to make a road motorbike based on a mixture of the next two D-Wheels.

Head really hurting now

But at least I have a good idea of what it could be though.

I am now pretty sure it is Eczema. I have got a doctors appointment for tomorrow though and that shoudl hopefully confirm it.

It has been hurting so much today. It was so bad at one point that I just put some of the cream that I have already got. It was challenging getting it through my hair but I had to do something. The pain is like I am getting painful pins and needles in the back of my head. I have never had such pain from eczema before. But then again I have never had it at the back of my head before.

I will be glad when the pain has gone as it makes getting things done challenging.

Sore head

I do not know what is the matter with me but my head is really sore. I have either got insect bites that are taking their time to go down or I have got Eczema. But either way it is really starting to bug me now. I will have to go to the doctors if it carries on like this.

I have managed to listen to the first Japanese for the third time. I am not feeling so overwhelmed by it now. I have to listen to each lesson a few times before I move onto the next one so that I can properly take in what they are teaching. I found that for the first couple of times I was getting a little overwhelmed at some points but I felt comfortable all the way through today. I would like to ideally listen to a lesson a day.

When I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's today I found myself picking out the words that were featured in the lesson. I think that teaming up watching the cartoon with the lessons could really help me as it will good for me to see Japanese how it would normally be spoken.

Not sleeping well

I do not know what is the matter with me but I am not getting off to sleep very well at night. Even when I am tired. Maybe I have been leaving it until I am over tired too much.

It has just meant that I have not been getting a good sleep as last night I went to bed late and it took me a while to settle off and I was up early with the wee ones. At least I should get a lie in tomorrow so that should hopefully help.

First day back at school

The wee ones are back at school and nursery today.

I was prepared and had pretty much everything ready the night before. the only thing I needed to do was go out to the shop and get a bottle of water for my eldest. Getting them ready in the morning went well as well.

I got to see the new school today. It looks great. I am really impressed with it, there are lots of windows so plenty of natural light gets in. It creates a lovely feeling.

they all had fun. Though sadly my eldest son lost his wallet at school. I will have to ask about it tomorrow when I take them in.

Filling out forms

It was today that I realized that I had not filled out the form for getting my eldest his school dinners. I just thought it was for the clothing grant but today I checked and noticed it was also for the meals and milk. I will have to get that in as soon as possible. If I get it in quick then I will not have to pay for very long.

Going for a walk in the wood

I decided that while I did not get any work done in the shed I would take the wee ones around the wood instead.

Wasted summer

I knew I wanted to spend some time relaxing this summer but I really have taken it too far.

It suddenly dawned on me today that the summer holiday is nearly over and I have not done anything at all. I feel bad for having wasted all of that time. I have not even done much with the wee ones. I know there have been many wet days when we were not able to get anything done but not to do anything at all.

I have made good progress with sewing name tags into my eldest sons school uniform though. I have nearly got that done now. All I need to do is sew the name tags into the jumpers. I can do that tomorrow.

I really need to work on my motivation though. I also need to start meditating again. I am getting increasingly short tempered. I do not think that it helps that I have been spending far too much time on the computer.

Getting better

It has been funny since about the 2nd August.

Time really has flown but I do not seen to have done much (well apart from getting ill and adicted to a game on Facebook)

I was ill last week and I had to spend a night in hospital. Thankfully It was partial Bell's Palsy that I had got and so I was not really affected that much but it did take it out of me.

Thankfully I am now nearly at the end of my medication (I take my last steroid tomorrow) and I do not seem to need the eye gel any more.

I do need to start sewing on name tags tomorrow though. My eldest goes back to school next week and I have not done any at all. I have not even got him any shoes.

My birthday

It is my birthday today and I am 35.

I have had a really funky day today. I was not able to get a big cream cake for myself but I was still able to get cream cakes for us all.

I did not go out to the beach as I had have hoped but I still had a nice day. I treated myself to a really funky leopard print tool box. There were some tools in the box that had the same print on. I have never seen anything like it. It is awesome :)

The day was finished off with a duel with my partner. I won this time. It was a perfect day for me to win.

Rain, rain

Please stay away for just one day. I need to get some washing dried.

It was sunny in the morning and shortly after the clothes had been washed it started raining and the weather has not been dry for long enough to get them dry. I could just use a few good drying days.

Lets duel

Friday 31st

My partner and I had a duel for the first time tonight. It went really well. I lost but I was not bothered as I had fun and it was good to do. We will definitely have to do that more often. It will get better the more I know about the game and understand the cards and how they work.

I did well at activating the traps though and I started off really well, that was until I decided to be bold and attack his defense monster. It was still fun though.

My partners birthday

It is my partners birthday today. He liked the presents that I got him to open on the day. I was also able to get up to the shop and get him a cream cake. I think that you cannot beat a cream cake. I think they are the best.

I have managed to look through some of the wedding pictures and get rid of some of them. My friend told me that she wants a copy of all of the pictures on a flash drive. I will get rid of duplicate shots that are not good enough and convert them to Jpeg before I put them on the flash card. At least I have made a start, but I need to step up my pace.

Thursday 29th -

The summer really seems to be flying but I do not seem to be doing anything.

I was supposed to be sorting through my friends wedding photographs but I have not done anything yet.

Wednesday 28th - clean up

I decided that once my partner got up this morning that I would spend some time cleaning the bedroom. I ended up spending a lot of the day in there as it took longer than I expected.

Though my partner has been really grumpy today so it was not a bad thing that I was not in the same room as him.

Tuesday 27th

I was so pleased to have a lie in today. I really needed it. I did not get the best sleep but it was enough.

I got some goodies in the post. My funky birthday present arrived today. The dueling cards as well as the tin. The present that I ordered for my friend also arrived.

Monday 26th - Wedding day

Today was the day of my friends wedding. A long day and very tiring

I've done it

Downloaded all of the Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's episodes that can be downloaded that is. I am really pleased that I have managed to do it.

I am still tempted to E-Mail the company and start pestering them to release them for region two on DVD for both dubbed and subtitled versions.

Now all I need to do is start getting ready for the wedding tomorrow.

Very tired

I know it was my fault but as I went to bed later than what I had intended I woke feeling really tired today.

I have managed to muddle through this morning. It was challenging making sure that the wee ones kept their voices down as the noise was giving me a headache.

thankfully by lunchtime I was feeling much better. I really need to make sure that I get to get at a decent time tonight though as I will be up early in the morning. I will be going to my friends wedding. I really hope that I do a good job of the photographs. I think I will charge up the battery tonight just to make sure that it is full and I will also empty all of the cards. I lastly need to read the list of the shots that we will be taking and download editing software back onto my computer.

I have had some great news regarding the downloading. I had a look to see what I could do about the RAR files. I then discovered that they are just compressed files and I was able to easily find a program to download that would mean that I could open them. They are not the best quality files but at least I can watch them and they will be good enough until I can find better.

I am getting fed up of all of the flies that are around at the moment. There are a handful that have got in the living room and they do not see to be interested in leaving. I have had enough of them and they are annoying when they buzz around my head. I will make sure that I give the living room a good scrub once I have finished downloading.

Saturday 24th

I got some free time today. I even managed to get some housework while downloading.

I did have some good news regarding my downloading today. I decided to download another player. I like using the VCL player as it will play some files the Windows media player will not. It now means that some of the episodes that I could not watch before can now be watched.

The quality on them is not the best but at least I have got something until I can get something better.

I was making really good progress until the evening when the only files I could download for some of the episodes were rar files and my computer cannot open them. I decided that I would download them anyway as in the morning I will see if there is a way of finding a program that will open them.

I had some bad news in the afternoon. When I was out at the shops getting something for my partner to eat on his fishing trip tomorrow I realized that I could not find my bank card. After a long search and using the Jedi mind enhancement technique I eventually found it under the bread bin at nearly one in the morning. I was very relieved to have found it.

Sunny day

Yay we have had some sun so I was able to get some washing done and dried.

Yu-Gi-Oh

A while ago I discovered a TV show called Yu-Gi-Oh GX. My partner told me about it and I thought it was funny watching it.

Though typically what started out as watching a show because I thought it was funny and a bit cheesy turned into not only me really enjoying it but my younglings really enjoying it.

The point of the animated show is that you have cards and you use them to duel with. The pictures on the cards become animated and act out what you tell them to do.

It started out as Yu-Gi-Oh and after that followed Yy-Gi-Oh GX and then after that there is the latest show Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's.

They are showing both Yu-Gi-Oh GX and Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's on the TV at the moment. I had been renting DVD's of Yu-Gi-Oh from Lovefilm as well. Sadly though they did not have many episodes to watch.

Also, I have enjoyed it so much that I have wanted versions that I can watch whenever I like. I tried to see what DVD's are available but I did not have much luck. I got my partner to look to see what he could download but he did not have much luck either (I do not think he really looked that hard to be honest)

I decided to have a look today and I managed to find some things. I found all of the episodes of all the shows. I thought my luck was in and started downloading the shows for Yu-Gi-Oh but I was saddened to see that they had cut the title credits off. I will download it if I cannot find anything else as what they have is better than nothing and it will be a good way for me to see the episodes that I doubt I could see any other way.

The I was not even able to download the episodes from the other shows, so it was back to square one.

After much looking and other disappointments I found something that I could download. It was all of the episodes for Yu-Gi-Oh GX and all of the episodes for Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's so far. I started downloading the first episode of Yu-Gi-Oh 5d's. It is great quality, plays well and has the titles. The only thing is that it is the Japanese version. Thankfully it is subtitled.

I will keep downloading them though as it was great to hear the voices as they should be, however I will still need to download the dubbed versions for the younglings to watch. However the wee ones seemed happy enough to watch the Japanese version (though it was a shock for them to hear them talking differently)

I have contacted the site as one of the shows was not available in the format that I needed and to ask them if they would put up all of the Yu-Gi-Oh episodes (they only had 27 of them) as well as the dubbed versions alongside the subtitled versions.

.So that has kept me busy today. I do need to make sure that tomorrow is a housework day though. I have been very bad over the last week. I think watching how clean is your house and the perfect housewife is i order.

I have ranged from enjoying what my wee ones have been doing to despairing. My daughter helped herself to my stones and lost one of their bags but we have also had fun. I am however tired of them not listening. I do need to get off the computer during the day though. I have found that the more time I spend on it during the day the less they listen to me.

Wednesday 21st - Night out

Not only did I get a lie in this morning but I had a night out in the evening. It has been a while since I last went out. It was nice to get out and I really enjoyed it.

I must admit that while we did need some water on the environment we no longer need it for now. A few dry and hot days to get the washing done. It was raining a lot and I had to go out and get something for dinner and I get soaked. Thankfully it was much better when I went out in the evening, but it was not fun getting out in it during the day.

Lie in out and about again

Today was my lie in day today and I needed it after going to bed so late. Though I did not mean to sleep in till eleven thirty. I will have to do better on my next lie in day.

The pocket watch that I ordered from E-Bay arrived in the post this morning. It really is beautiful and I am so happy with it. I might have to get some pocket watches as presents for people.

Thankfully today was a sunny day so I was able to get the towels dry that I had washed the other day as well as getting another wash load washed and dried. The rain is due to be on again tomorrow but hopefully it will not be long before we get some more dry days so that I can get totally caught up with the washing (the washing is now piled out of the laundry basket.

I went out again. I went with my friend as she thought it would be good for me to see the registry place where she is getting married. As it turned out though her middle daughter fell asleep in the car by the time that we arrived and she did not want to wake her, so I stayed out in the car with her. As it turned out I think I had the best option as my friend told me that her eldest daughter was very challenging in the building.

After I mentioned about going to the shops to get some dinner and she took me to Asda to get something from there. Because she was able to take me to a bigger store I had much more choice, so I was able to remember to get vegetarian mince. I am very happy about this as that will help us make some different meals. Pasta and sauce is nice but it is much nicer with the mince in.

I was told that the younglings were good in the morning and while I was out. My daughter did not even have any time in the time out chair. I am very pleased that they did so well.

My daughter did say something to me today that was so sweet. I was trying on a couple of dresses today to decided which one I could wear to my friends wedding. One of them sadly did not fit (it is really unforgiving and while I know it would not take much to get back in it I could not do it in time) so I decided to go for the other dress as it fitted really nicely and I know that I could move about with ease.

As I was wearing it my daughter walked in the room and when she saw me she said 'Ah mummy you look beautiful' I thought that was such a sweet thing to say. It really made me feel very nice.

Monday 19th July - Out and about

I have been busy getting out and about.

In the morning I was picked up and taken to Dunfemline so that I could see where the outdoor photographs will be taken.

While it was raining we were still able to get some shots and we decided that even if the weather was the same on the wedding day we would still be able to get the outdoor shots. I did realize today that I needed to get my cards clear on the day of the wedding.

It was nice to get out though and bless my friend treated me to a drink and something to eat as well.

It was not long for me being in before I had to be out again to get something for dinner and then after that I was out yet again when I visited my friend as I have now been doing on a Monday. It did end up being a late night though. It was past three when I got to sleep.

Lovely lie in

I really needed it as I was feeling shattered. I eventually got up at around eleven thirty.

I am hoping that my computer has been fixed now. After more problems we installed the new hard drive. It is working so far without problems. I hope it stays like that. It will be nice to have it working nicely.

My daughter is back in fingers mode when she was taking some things out of my room. I really am looking forward to the time when she stops doing that.

I am hopeful that my son is beginning to get more confidence regarding using the toilet. Today he did not do anything in the garden and did everything in the toilet. He still is fearful that he will bock the toilet but he seems to be feeling better about it though.

I have also managed to spend a bit of time ni the shed today and get rid of two black bags of clutter. I really am determined to get rid of it all.

Time flies

Even though I did not get a lie in today it feel as though the day really has flown and I have not really done a lot with it.

My partner took the wee ones to his mums but due to him leaving later than usual and my step daughter staying here instead I did not get as much housework as I would have liked. Though when I started playing my documentary she soon left the room and went in the bedroom instead and that meant that I was able to get something done. I think though that I will end up doing my housework late at night again.

Though it is always more challenging getting the housework during the school holidays. I have been doing better this holiday than normal.

I was thinking about it tonight. This time last year we were going away on the Homestart trips (I really must phone them and say hello) but this year there is nothing any more for me. I am going to have to start planning a few days out with them. I will not be able to take them to the places that we went last year but even if all we are able to do is get to the beach once a week then that would be fine. I will also look to see if there any places that I can take them on the bus.