Still bad tempered and down

The night shift went really well. The twins settled off really nicely and I managed to get up to give them a night feed. I also then was able to finish off my book before I went to sleep. It took me a while to settle off to bed though and while I got up a little later than usual I was still feeling very tired.

Wolfie got up around 4.30 and I took him through to Devil boy but when I got up he was still tired. I had some breakfast and then realised that I had got up a little too late and that I would have to rush about to get ready to go to baby massage. I also found something out which did not help my mood.

I then snapped at Devil boy shouted at Wolfie for getting to my books and then threw my mobile phone at the wall breaking it.

I managed to get ready in time though and I set off for baby massage still in a bad mood.

The baby massage went well even though I was in a fowl mood all the way through. The twins loved it though and gurgled all the way through and were so sweet. Malach was so sweet and he made such cute noises and grinned so much.

At the end as my health visitor ran it this week asked about the twins and if I was going to get them weighed and then she eventually asked how I was doing. I told her that things were not going well and that I am finding things a little tough at the moment. I am sick of the pressure regarding the twins but I managed to ask he for a breastfeeding chart for them. Maybe that will take some of the pressure off.

I went to Devil boys grandmas after but I was still in a fowl mood and I snapped at Wolfie again. I came home with Devil boy and I managed to get something to eat, feed the twins and sort out something that needed to sort out. By this point I was just feeling down and mentally and physically drained after how I felt in the morning. I was also able to buy a new phone from E-Bay. I got a really good bargain on a hone that is actually better that the one that I broke so I am quite happy about that. I will use the money that I would have put toward my car.

I began to pick up thankfully and by dinnertime I felt much better. I am tired of feeling like this though. I think I will have a go at meditating soon. I really need to find a way to relax.

I bathed and put Wolfie to bed while Devil boy went out to sort out his friend’s computer out. Wolfie thankfully settled off without problems.

I replied to my friends E-Mails and I then had a lovely soak in the bath. I then decided the next book that I am going to start reading. I have read it before but I feel like reading it again.


As I managed to get the dishes done earlier all I have to do now is clean up a bit and get the twins changed and fed before going to bed.